


Closest It'll Get

by jaerie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Casual Sex, Drunk Sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Rimming, Roleplay, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Unwanted Advances (very minor), all the gay sex, but they are both willing adults in the drunk sex, kind of, questionably safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-01-26 22:38:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12567764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie
Summary: Reason #41: Because He Looks LIke Your Super Hot Cousin and This is the Closest It'll Ever Get to Being OkayFaking former relationships, mistaken identities and the moral struggle over his first real crush lead to an interesting destination wedding for Harry.





	Closest It'll Get

* * *

 

 

Harry sighed as he looked down at his phone to the string of text messages that had been coming through while he was in class.  At this rate, he felt like he had no choice but to answer.  Josh knew that his year two students would be off to lunch during this part of his day.  He also knew that Harry used that time to collect himself, to play around on his phone and, before they had broken up a few months before, engage in some borderline inappropriate midday texting with Josh himself.  He really didn’t have an excuse other than the fact that they had, in fact, broken up.  But Harry was civil, had assured him that they would stay friends or at the very least keep in contact.  It would be pretty obvious to ignore so many messages.  

 

He scrolled through the thread of the one sided conversation with a deep crease between his brows, knee bouncing with nervous energy over the topic.  He had to admit that it had been on his mind as well.  

  


**_i know you said you needed some space…_ **

**_i really tried not to bother you for as long as i could…_ **

**_but the wedding is next weekend and everyone already thinks you’re coming_ **

**_you already bought your plane ticket and i know you bought that suit you can’t return_ **

**_please harry just come with me_ **

**_it doesn’t have to mean we’re getting back together_ **

**_i know what you said…_ **

**_please just this last favour…_ **

**_you can hang out at the beach or at the bar the whole time, have a vacation_ **

**_we can just sit next to each other at the ceremony and i can tell everyone we broke up when we get back_ **

**_i just don’t want it to be a “thing” and you know it will be if i show up alone… you know how my family is_ **

 

Harry sighed and ran his fingers through his shaggy hair that definitely needed trimmed up.  He did know.  He had been with Josh’s family at Christmas when his sister had shown up without her longterm boyfriend.  It had overshadowed the entire holiday just as he knew his absence would overshadow the entire wedding weekend. Josh’s family were the biggest group of gossips and Megan didn’t deserve that.  She was Josh’s cousin that he had only met once or twice but he would never do anything to take attention away from a bride on what should be her special day.  

He knew it was a bad idea and he fought with himself as he typed and deleted several responses while he debated his reply.  On one hand, Josh was right.  He already had purchased his flight, his suit for the ceremony and several bathing suit options for the trip.  He had been looking forward to the small holiday for months and couldn’t even deny the amount of times he had tried on each pair of tiny beach shorts, walking around the house in them just so he could admire how fantastic they made his bum look each time he walked past one of his mirrors.  The squats had been paying off and it would be a shame to just throw out all of his hard work when he actually had a valid excuse to flaunt it.  

But things with Josh had ended for a reason.  They weren’t in uni anymore, a fact that had grown glaringly obvious over the previous year.  Harry had accepted a teaching job back in Manchester while Josh had stayed down near London set on finishing out an internship.  Harry had come to prefer his quiet nights staying in, reading or watching some Netflix or even spending the evening in the kitchen trying a new recipe.  Josh still tried to drag him out to the bars when he was at Harry’s apartment and the amount of drunken calls he received on weekday nights just seemed so exhausting to him now.  Honestly he couldn’t understand how Josh was able to keep up that lifestyle but he supposed it might be easier without the adult responsibilities Harry had moved into.  

His mum had always called him an old soul and as a jumper wearing homebody at age 24, he finally agreed with her.  And he was oddly settled by admitting that.  Since he was even a teenager he had had a strong domestic streak and hoped Josh would follow him into adulthood at the same natural pace, had assumed that he would without questioning it.  

Their relationship hadn’t ended in an explosion of anger and shouting, it had been more of a reluctant acceptance that they both needed some time to figure out what their priorities were.  To Harry, it seemed simple to lay out the direction he wanted his life to take.  Land a steady job, find a house, maybe adopt a couple pets and when the time was right, marriage and adding some kids to the mix.  The lacking expression on Josh’s face while they had that final conversation told him all he needed to know.  In the end they just weren’t the long term commitment couple of Harry’s dreams.

Going with Josh to the destination wedding might open doors to things Harry had already changed the locks to.  He was proud of himself for finding a new normal on his own so quickly, even if he was still working on the idea of being alone after so long.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to take that step backwards.  

But they had decided to stay friends and Harry would never leave a friend hanging in a time of need.  He typed his answer and hit send before he could let himself rethink his response and dropped his phone back into his drawer, closing it for the rest of the day.  

 

**_okay. i’ll go. but i’m booking my own room._ **

 

**Friday**

 

It was ass o’clock in the morning and Harry’s eyes were burning.  He had made the drive to Josh’s apartment the evening before and spent a restless night on the lumpy second hand sofa that smelled of stale food and spilt beer.  It was definitely a uni student couch and while he wondered when exactly he had shifted to the point of being so pretentious, it also gave him more confirmation that his decision had been the right one.  He liked his clean house and matching furniture, even if most of it was Ikea quality.   

But a light nap on the disgusting sofa would be a better way of putting his quality of sleep.  

The sun hadn’t even risen and he was cranky and tired and uncomfortable in the waiting area at their gate in the airport.  No matter which way he shifted, his legs were too long or his torso was bent uncomfortably or the metal was too cold and hard against his head.  All he wanted to do was shut his eyes and at least fool his body into thinking it was resting before boarding their 9 hour flight to Nassau.  

“Come on babe,” Josh’s soft voice broke through his tired huff, “You can lay your head on me.”  

The familiarity of it all, of the arm sliding around his body and guiding his head to rest against his shoulder was enough to have him relaxing into it for just a few moments of comfort.  He shot up as soon as he realized what was happening and dragged his hands down his face with a small groan at how easy the slip of muscle memory was.  

“You know we’ll have to act like we’re dating when we get there,” Josh said softly by his side and he almost felt guilty with how defeated the other looked as he stared down at his fidgeting hands.  But they weren’t together, not any more, and he didn’t want to give the impression that nothing had changed because really, everything had.  They had already had this discussion, they had already started living their own lives.

“I don’t want to blur any lines,” Harry’s voice was tired and strained, glancing over before slouching back down in the seat.  Harry may have initiated their breakup but he still cared about Josh.  It had been a natural progression of growing apart, not an atomic explosion between them that left him with a sour taste in his mouth.  That still didn’t mean he was ready to cuddle up together.  “I won’t make it weird in front of your family but we aren’t together.  Nothing is going to happen this weekend.”  

Harry pretended not to see the hurt that flashed over Josh’s face and closed his eyes against the harsh fluorescent lighting.  It was becoming clear this had been a bad idea.  He could see that now with all the small gestures and moves Josh had been pulling since he had arrived the night before but he had already committed.  He had taken two days off from work for the first time since moving to Manchester and his luggage was already checked and probably being loaded onto the plane at that very moment.  He was already laying in the bed he had made and he had to accept that.

Luckily they were called to board before it became awkward between them.  He busied himself stretching his arms out above his head and gathering together his carry on items.  With any luck, he would sleep through the whole flight and wake up ready to take on the weekend with a new outlook on the situation.  It was all he could do at that point.  

 

-

 

Harry loved the sun, he really did.  He loved summer and warm weather and even humidity on the rare occasion that he really experienced it.  What he didn’t love was feeling all of those things on his sleep sweaty greasy skin after being locked up in a silver cylinder of recycled air for half a day.  His skin was crawling for a shower and his clothes felt plastered to his skin in all the wrong places.  It also didn’t help that all of those things were happening on the roughest boat ride he had ever experienced in his life.  

They had landed in Nassau without issue before loading a shuttle bus full of stale humid air which took them to a dock of questionable looking boats.  At least they seemed solid despite their overused appearance but the idea of slowly drowning in the middle of the ocean in a leaky vessel didn’t help his mood.  They had a half hour ride across the water to the small private resort island the wedding was taking place on and if that time estimate had been in any way an underestimate, he was fully prepared to abandon ship into the appealing cold blue water cresting around them and accepting his fate.  

He leaned over the edge of the boat to catch some of the refreshing spray but quickly pulled away from that illusion.  The droplets hit his face like pin pricks and coated his sunglasses in a salty film that would only smear over the lens with a swipe of his tshirt.  He huffed and flopped down onto his seat, watching the distorted horizon through his blurry lenses.  

Fortunately they soon pulled up to sturdy dock, the waves a gentle sway in the small natural cove set up to receive guests.  They were met by a golf cart that drove them up to the main resort buildings along with their luggage.  He breathed a sigh of relief at the small luxury.  

The lobby was grand and he nearly fell over when Josh ran right into his back.  It was his own fault, gawking at the floor to ceiling panes of glass that created a dome where they met at the top.  A large rock waterfall rose up enough for him to crane his neck to see the top and took up a majority of the space in the center of the majestic room.  His carry on bag fell from his shoulder and clunked to the granite floor, the sound echoing loudly through the trickles and rush of the cascading water.  

“Sorry, sorry,” he rushed out an apology to the few people milling about the lobby.  They had all stopped to turn their attention to the commotion and Harry felt flustered under the unwanted attention.  

“You okay babe?” Josh’s hand was quickly on the small of his back and he wanted to flinch away from the touch.  Instead he gave a tight lipped smile and a nod, adjusting the bag back on his shoulder and white knuckling his grip on his rolling suitcase.  So not the fresh start he was hoping for then.  

The reception desk was only a few paces away and he casually shifted from Josh’s side as he stepped up to check into his room.  The wedding block had booked one wing of first floor villa-like suites with their own patios and direct beach access and he mourned the loss as he gave the clerk his name for his own reservation.  Their cheapest and smallest room was still $300 a night and his bank account was not going to happy with him after this weekend but he had prepared to accept the loss.  It was a small sacrifice to create that extra space between him and his ex at the very least while they were sleeping.

“I’m sorry Mr. Styles but it appears your reservation was cancelled,” the clerk told him when she finally looked up from her computer screen after typing and clicking for a longer than he thought necessary.  

“No, I should have a reservation for a standard king room,” Harry began to dispute, pulling out his phone to locate his confirmation email.  Of course he wouldn’t have service here.  He sighed while he watched the small spinning circle on his email app that wouldn’t load anything.  On his teaching salary he wasn’t about to spend the extra money on island roaming charges.  

“Can I get on your wifi to find my confirmation?” he tried to ask as politely as possible.  It wasn’t the clerk’s fault and he consciously bit back the bite in his tone.  He was still uncomfortable in his sweaty skin which now felt clammy in the shockingly cold air conditioning and his rarely surfacing temper was beginning to bubble to the surface the longer his hot shower was indefinitely delayed.  

“I’m sorry Mr. Styles it appears your reservation was cancelled just yesterday by phone.”

Harry closed his eyes and took a deep calming breath before turning to his right.  

“Joshua.  Did you cancel my reservation?” he asked, the anger in his tone clear though he kept his voice level.  

“There’s no reason for you to pay for another room when we already booked a whole villa room with the wedding,” Josh rushed out. It sounded like he was pleading with him not to cause a scene.  Harry wasn’t sure he would oblige.  He inhaled through his nose and calmly turned back to the desk.  

“There has been a mistake.  Can you please rebook my reservation?”  He hands his credit card and identification across the counter, trying to keep his cool.  

“I’m sorry Mr. Styles,” she began and he started to take another deep calming breath in anticipation, “We’ve had a group book our extra standard rooms last minute.  I’m afraid we do not have any available.  We do have an extra suite available with the wedding party if you would be interested but I am unable to extend the price of your previous reservation…”

“It’s fine,” he cut her off, “I’ll take that and he’ll be paying.”  He slipped his credit card back into his wallet while Josh squeaked in protest beside him.  

“Harry, you know I can’t-”

“It was my ONE condition, Josh,” he stated with finality, crossing his arms over his chest and turned to lean his back against the fancy reception desk.  He tuned out the muttering beside him while he focused on containing the fire that was flaring with his irritation.  

He followed the height of the waterfall with his eyes up to the walkway to the second level and admired the greenery they had incorporated into the design.  He wondered if tropical plants would survive in his own place back home.  His house could always use some more plant life, maybe some of those tropical indoor trees.  

He realized he had briefly lost himself in thought when his gaze suddenly focused on what exactly he had ended up staring at.  The curvy shape of a cocked hip and, more specifically, a fantastically round ass materialized in his vision as he blinked.  And it wasn’t just any ass, he noted, that was an ass that he would know anywhere from a mile away.  An ass he had spent hours admiring and even more hours fantasizing about in the privacy of bedroom as a young teenager.  An ass that was forever imprinted into his memories.

“Logan?” he muttered to himself, squinting slightly as he tried to get a better look.  

“Here’s your key,” Josh snapped his attention away from the body and shoved the small envelope with the plastic keys against his chest just a little too hard.  The corner poked uncomfortably into his pec before he snatched it away.  His hand flew up to rub the spot as he looked back up to find Logan but in just those few sections, he was gone.  

Josh pouted and pulled his suitcase behind him like a small child who had just been told they can’t have cake for breakfast the whole way down the hallway through the west wing entrances.  Harry was proud of himself for not rolling his eyes when Josh made a show of waiting at his own doorway while Harry continued down to his suite.  He wasn’t going to let Josh’s hopeless ploys ruin what he was determined to make this vacation for himself.  He had been clear from the beginning and wasn’t going to allow Josh to make him feel guilty for not falling all over him, for not falling into his not very thought out traps.  This had been the agreement.  There wasn’t any room for negotiation.    

The suite door registered his key with a small click and he let himself into his home for the next few nights.  The clerk hadn’t been lying, it was a very nice suite.  He could see straight through the sliding glass doors to his personal patio and the sand of the beach just beyond.  The way the room was situated, the sunset was going to be beautiful and he grinned in blissful anticipation.  

But that would come later.  

His first order of business was to waste an extraordinary amount of hot water taking what he was sure would be the best shower of his life.  Okay maybe not the best shower of his life but with his skin crawling uncomfortably, he knew it would probably rank as one of the highest.  

His suitcase bounced as he plopped it onto the top of the mattress, fingers moving to the zipper before the motion had even ceased.  He pulled out his toiletries bag and headed straight for the bathroom leaving a trail of his clothing behind him as he stripped off the grimy fabric.  

“Thank you, beach gods,” he praised, taking in the large glassed in shower with a rainfall showerhead.  He reached in to twist the water on and dumped his bag of personal items out on the counter while he waited for it to warm to the right temperature.

Harry wasn’t a messy person, he kept his home clean and orderly, but this was vacation.  Worrying about organization was the last thing on his mind.  Or at least that’s what he told himself as he still lined up his products along the sink and the ledge of the shower accordingly.  

It was amazing how a hot shower could solve so many problems in a matter of seconds.  Just like how brushing your teeth could surprisingly make anyone feel like a new person.   As the hot water ran down Harry’s body, the tension and filth of the journey slid off his skin and swirled down the drain like a vortex for negative energy.  He massaged his scalp as he washed his greasy hair and moaned as his muscles relaxed in the therapeutic warmth of the steam.  It was exactly what he had been longing for.  

His mind went blissfully blank as he soaped up his body.  Blissfully blank until a certain body began to materialize on the inside of his eyelids and made the hands on his skin slow to a sensual pace.  

It would be a very strange coincidence if Logan really had ended up on the same private island halfway across the world at the same resort on the same weekend but he was sure stranger things had happened.  He had no idea what Logan had been up to these days so he had no way to immediately rule it out.  It had been years since the last time he had seen Logan, in person anyway, and nearly as long since he had even invaded his thoughts.  But just like a Pavlovian response his dick perked up and his mind was sent back to his early teenage years and the dirty little secret he had kept close, knowledge that had only ever been his.   

As conflicted as he was about it, Logan had played a vital role in Harry’s self discovery and there really wasn’t any way to deny that.  Especially now as the adult Harry had found himself to be.   

His hand slid down his soap covered body to his hardening cock, closing his fist around it’s girth and giving it a gentle squeeze at the thought.  Jerking off hadn’t been on his immediate agenda for the day but it felt like a welcome detour now that the opportunity had presented itself.  It would be good for stress relief from traveling at the very least but he already knew it was going to be enjoyable with the subject matter.  

He couldn’t help but blow the dust off the old and overused fantasies, calling them up from the recesses of his memory as easily as his phone number.  He willingly gave in to them.  

Logan was curvy, skin tan and glowing during the summers in the most delicious way.  He was the type to sweat in a sexy way, bare chest glistening over firm muscles in the sun as he kicked a soccer ball around in only a pair of athletic shorts that were always tight in all the right places.  His round bum and bulge in those shorts left little to the imagination and Harry had had no problems filling in the missing details.  

With one hand resting on the cool tile of the shower, Harry worked his soap slicked hand over his dick and moaned while he queued up one of his favourite scenarios.  Logan was a few years older and, in his teenaged mind, more experienced.  An experienced man was such a turnon to his younger more innocent self.  The rest of the family would already be up at the rental house or hotel or wherever they were that year when Logan would look over at him with a suggestive smirk.  Harry would find himself willingly being pushed into the pool house or garden shed, crowded up against the wall by Logan’s hot sweaty body.  

“Fuck,” his moan echoed in the glass shower cube when the mental image of Logan’s hands worked their way over his body.  Back then he had a thing for the idea of watching his partner undress and he moaned when Logan was finally naked in front of him, hard cock in his own hand.  

“Fuck me,” Logan would say as he bent over to give Harry a perfect view of his ass, reaching back to part his cheeks in invitation.  Harry’s mouth watered.  He hadn’t quite understood the logistics of anal sex at the time and in his fantasy, he didn’t even waste a second before he plunged himself right in.

Harry came over his hand while he thought of fucking into the perfect warmth, the feeling of guilt slightly heightened over his thoughts now as an adult who fully understood what he was doing.  It faded quickly though, years of justification under his belt by now, and after a moment he rinsed his hand under the spray and finished up with his shower.  

 

-

 

The sun was beginning to set and Harry realized he had wasted away the entire afternoon on the beach.  There wasn’t any room for regret, though.  His beach lounger was comfortable, the air was a perfect mixture of warmth and humidity and he had his own beach umbrella to shield him from the worst of the direct sunlight.  He had plowed his way through a good chunk of one of the novels he had been meaning to read and he had to admit that this was the most relaxed he had felt in ages.  

He dog eared the page he was on and rested it on his lap, looking out across the gentle waves and the beautiful colours of the sunset that warmed the horizon with happy shades of orange that made him smile.  He had all but forgotten he was on this trip with an ex who had made many attempts to take away his slice of paradise.  Being separated from that had left him a serene safe space that he had fully embraced.  Even with the knowledge that he would be finding sand in every crevasse of his body later, it was fully worth it.  

With a sigh he knew he had to at least make good on his word to play nice with Josh’s family at some point and he knew by this time they were all probably questioning his absence.  He could at least make an appearance before turning in early like he had planned.  He figured they would be done with their rehearsal dinner by now which opened up a more relaxed setting for him to make an entrance.  They had surely migrated to the bar and honestly a nice tropical night cap sounded nice anyway.  

He pushed himself up from the lounger with a yawn and though he had coated his pasty English skin with sunscreen several times, he could feel where he had still been kissed by the intensity of the sun.  Making a mental note to spend some time exposing the other side of his body tomorrow to even out his tan, he headed towards his room to drop off his book and freshen up a bit before joining the party.  

He checked his beach bod and attire out in the full length mirror on the wall of his suite before deciding he couldn’t waste how fabulous the little shorts made him look.  Instead of changing, he grabbed his hawaiian style shirt that at least matched the colour of his shorts and shrugged it on leaving the front loose and unbuttoned.  It was an outdoor beachside bar anyway.  There wasn’t a need for formal wear yet.  

The bar was hoppin’ but not overly crowded when he finally arrived after the short walk down the beach.  He nodded hello to a few of Josh’s family members that he recognized on his way up to the bar to order himself a drink.  He decided on a Mai Tai in a fancy glass and nibbled at the pineapple wedges on a skewer while he surveyed his surroundings.  Josh wasn’t anywhere in sight and he found that he wasn’t disappointed by that.  Relieved, actually.  

It was easy to make small talk with Josh’s mother (that actually knew they had broken up) and a few of his cousins he had met at Christmas without Josh hanging off his arm or trying to steal a kiss.  It was also easy to get a buzz when he realized that it was still Josh’s credit card on the room he was charging his drinks too.  He found he was actually having a good time in a situation that could have been fairly awkward.  

He was swaying his hips in a pleasant state of tipsy when he caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye.  His head snapped to his right to a figure walking in the sand just beyond the bar area roped off by twinkle lights strung overhead on poles.

“Logan!” he called out but not nearly loud enough to attract attention.  His feet began to carry him in that direction and nearly tripped over himself in the process.  He paused to regain his balance before starting again, calling out with his half empty glass raised.  “Logan! Wait!”  

The figure didn’t wait, didn’t even glance back, but his pace was slow and his head down as if he were trying to fully experience the feeling of the sand beneath his feet.  His hands were tucked into his pockets which stretched his shorts deliciously across his ass and Harry licked his lips as he got closer.  He wanted to bite it.

“Logan!  What are you doing here!” he exclaimed with a happy laugh, hand on the man’s shoulder to grab his attention.

Harry blinked after the person spun around to face him.  Despite every familiar marker etched deeply into Harry’s mind, this man was in fact NOT Logan.  He didn’t think it was at least.  He blinked again and his stare became blank as the other man stared back at him in confusion.  

“You’re not Logan,” he blurted out, his hand falling from his shoulder.  

“No, mate, not Logan,” the other said with a small laugh.  And yeah, now that he was right in front of Harry, it was obvious.  His stature was slightly shorter, Logan had at least an inch on Harry last time he had seen him while Harry had to look down to make eye contact with this guy now.  Even in the dim light he could tell that this man’s eyes resembled a clear blue ocean instead of the hazy storm grey blue of Logan’s that he had come to know so well.  

His cheekbones were so sharp and similar but just slightly off.  His hair was styled almost the same but the colour was just a bit too rich.  His arched eyebrows were right but just a little too manicured.  His jawline was sculpted the same but he was scruffy in different places.  Everything was there but it just didn’t add up.  It wasn’t adding up.  How was he NOT Logan?  How??

“Um… I’m not sure.”

Shit.  Had he said that out loud?  He had and he could feel the colour traveling up his neck and into his cheeks.  

“Are you alright?” He felt a warm hand gently grip his bicep and he snapped out of his drunken stupor.  A little bit anyway.

“Yeah.  Yeah!  Sorry, I thought you were someone else.  You could be their twin, I swear.”

“Oh, well, sorry?  Definitely not Logan,” he said with a small chuckle.  

“Louis are you ready??” A blonde girl bounced up and looped arms with Not-Logan, gently pulling him in the direction of the rooms.  She had a sway in her movements that said she was feeling just as good as Harry so he excused her poor manners for interrupting them but then again he had just behaved much worse.

“Yeah, let’s go.”  He threw Harry a small smile before turning and following her down the beach.  Harry watched him, or rather his perfectly rounded backside, until the darkness engulfed them, dumbfounded expression still stuck to his face.  

 

**Saturday**

 

Harry woke with the bright tropical sun scorching his eyelids and his mouth filled with cotton balls.  He groaned and pushed his face into his pillow, cursing the normally welcoming light of morning and the pulsing pressure pounding at his temples.  He didn’t remember drinking enough the night before to be this hungover but maybe he had.  The events of his night rolled through his brain to make sure he wasn’t missing any sections of time that might clue him in but it was all there up until the moment he crawled between the cool crisp hotel sheets.  

He let out another groan when it sank in that he remembered his entire night.  It was all there.  Even his embarrassing run in with Not-Logan, _especially_ his embarrassing run in with Not-Logan.  

He dragged himself out of bed and over to the mini bar, pulling out a bottle of cold water and downing half of it without a second thought.  Not his credit card anyway, he shrugged.  It probably cost more than an entire case of water back hom.   

It was quickly apparent that he was more dehydrated from his sugary drinks than hungover and he took his water out to sit on the small patio just outside his room to soak up some vitamin D.  It turned out to be a calming place to be.  

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t stop himself from drifting back to the day before and all the emotions that had been dredged up from the thought of seeing Logan again.  It was part of his past that he didn’t revisit very often for several reasons.  

For as far back as Harry could remember, his mother’s side of the family had always met up for a two week holiday.  It always turned out more like a family reunion than anything but Harry had always enjoyed it.  The location repeated several times throughout his childhood but was usually somewhere new and exciting even if he was usually too young to be left to do any exploring off on his own.  The ages ranged from his grandparents down to toddlers and there never seemed to be any point where there wasn’t some type of entertainment or excursion going on.  There was always a flourish of activity no matter what time of day and at the end of the trip, he always found himself more exhausted than anything.  

He was usually grouped in with his older sister and therefore the group of cousins that were just a bit older than himself.  He fell within the gap that separated the cousins a few years older and the ones that were a few years younger.  He never minded, though, had always been the kid to claim he was old enough for things that he probably really wasn’t ready for.  He was the group’s tag along but since he only saw most of them once a year, he wasn’t embarrassed by that role and gladly chased after them.  If he couldn’t be off on his own, it was really the next best thing.  Much better than being stuck with colouring books and the boring distractions that the younger kids were stuck with.  

For two weeks out of the summer it was always the same, relatives he barely remembered names of, cheeks pinched by women they all called aunts, hair tousled by the men they called uncles, fights picked with those they called cousins all before they were back to real life.  Until the next summer rolled around and they went through it all again.  All of them vaguely drifted to the back of his memory to store for the rest of the year without much effort.  

And then there was Logan.  

Logan had always been a scrappy kind of kid, generally annoying and always getting into trouble in one way or another.  Pranks were usually traced back to him and Harry usually tried to steer clear lest he be guilty by association.  For self preservation, it was the best course of action and he stuck to it year after year.  

That was until the summer after Harry turned 13.  The summer that made him question everything he thought he knew about himself.  The summer that he would look back on as the summer of his sexual awakening.  

Logan turned up at the age of 16 shirtless and proudly displaying the fact that he had grown out of his awkward phase since the last time Harry had seen him.  His hair was styled in messy emo cut and his body was sharp in all the right places and perfectly soft in others, the lingering baby fat actually accentuating his figure rather than distracting from it like Harry’s own body.  Harry’s eyes had widened behind the shield of his sunglasses and he had never popped a boner so fast in the so far short boner-popping span of his life.  

At his age, awkward boners were just part of the growing pains of puberty.  Sometimes a light breeze would blow past and it would be enough to pitch a tent in his shorts.  It was embarrassing and frustrating but something he was learning to deal with.  This time, however, was the first time that it was a someone and not a something that had caused it and that seemed monumental yet terrifying to him.  

Logan’s family hadn’t joined the vacation the year before.  They had been in the middle of an overseas move and Harry had all but forgotten about his existence and the first half of their trip had him wishing he could forget about him again.  Instead he found himself in the middle of two existential crises, neither of which he could fully wrap his head around.  

For one, it had opened up the floodgates that he was attracted to men.  He had never really pondered the idea that he might be gay and it seemed that instead of coming to a gradual conclusion about his sexuality, it had hit him like a bus at full speed without any warning.  The floodgates had opened and there was no way to stop the hemorrhaging images and ideas overwhelming him and his heightened hormones.  

On top of that, even though they only saw each other once a year and didn’t keep in contact once their vacation was over, Logan was still Harry’s cousin.  It was a biological fact that made him feel dirty and wrong for his attraction each time they crossed paths and he was certain his inappropriate thoughts were being broadcast to everyone in their family.  

But when he was finally alone in bed at night he couldn’t help but touch himself to the newly formed fantasies of being naked with another man.  Logan was the most recent barely clothed man Harry had seen and he couldn’t help that every vector of thought ended up curling back around to the vivid images of Logan that were still fresh in his mind.  It didn’t help that Harry had accidentally walked in on Logan naked and drying himself off with a towel after a shower, eyes lingering long enough to burn the details into his mind permanently.  He had never slammed a door shut so hard in his life.  

Of course as soon as Harry was back at home and then starting the new school year he had calmed down a bit, his thoughts transitioning back to what he assumed was a normal level of teenage self discovery.  And then Logan had sent him a friend request on Facebook and the whole thing spiraled again. He routinely clicked through his photo albums for new pictures, heart picking up it’s pace every time he popped up shirtless or in an outfit that was particularly flattering.  If it wouldn’t have been his cousin, he would have plastered his walls with printed pictures of his fantastic body and bright smile.  

By the next summer, he had come to terms with being attracted to his cousin.  It didn’t come without guilt if he let himself dwell on it but also knew that nothing would happen.  Not only was Logan straight but Harry didn’t think he would be able to actually go through with anything sexual if the situation presented itself.  Which he knew it wouldn’t.  But that didn’t stop his fantasies and no one seemed to question Harry’s new behaviour of following Logan around like a shadow.  

He had grown out of it, for the most part, but there was just something about a first crush that was nostalgic and, as proven by the day before, the flames could be relit easily in the right mood.  It wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on.  

 

-

 

Harry had just stepped out of the shower when he heard a knock on the door of his suit.  He quickly wrapped a towel around his waist and went to answer, pulling the door open when he saw Josh waiting on the other side through the peephole.  

“I just thought we should show up together,” Josh said, shifting his weight nervously from foot to foot until Harry stepped back into the room to allow him enough space to enter.  

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.  I just have to get dressed.  Shouldn’t be too long.”  

Josh sat down on one of the plush chairs in the sitting area while Harry began to gather up the clothes he had laid out on the bed earlier before heading back towards the bathroom.  

“Really H?  We dated forever and I’ve seen you naked thousands of times, you can get dressed out here,” Josh said with a little too much disappointment in his voice.  Harry sighed and looked across the room with an exasperated expression.  

“Doesn’t really seem appropriate right now,” he replied and continued into the bathroom despite Josh’s protests.  He made sure to click the lock once inside and sighed as he leaned back against the door.  Being around Josh was turning out to be an exhausting experience every time they ended up together and he wasn’t sure he was mentally prepared to spend the rest of the afternoon and evening pretending to be happily on his arm as the lovely couple they had been when this trip had been originally planned.  

He dressed in his light blue linen suit, leaving half the buttons open on his white shirt to give it the casual feel he envisioned a beach wedding to be and checked out the look in the long mirror.  It hadn’t been his first choice, Josh vetoing all of the hawaiian and floral looking choices he had originally picked out.  Harry felt that they had been completely appropriate choices for the occasion.  Josh had immediately disagreed arguing that he refused to attend his cousin’s wedding with a middle aged dad if Harry showed up dressed like that.  

Harry really wished he would have brought one of his floral suits.  

He could hear Josh growing impatient but he still took his time arranging his hair in front of the mirror.  They weren’t under a time crunch just yet and the ceremony was nearly right outside their rooms anyway.  And the longer he could put off pretending the better.  

  
  


They arrive when most of the other guests had already been seated, finding themselves in one of the back rows but Harry didn’t mind.  It was a small wedding anyway and their view wasn’t in any way hindered.  He was actually glad to not have eyes staring at the back of his head as he found that he couldn’t sit still.  He flipped over the small program again and again until Josh’s hand settled on top of his to stop the movement.  He subtly shook his hands free but kept them still on his lap the best he could.  He tried to stop fidgeting and instead began looking around at the others in attendance.  There were a handful of faces he recognized and he offered small smiles when he made eye contact with a few.  He scanned around and almost gave his eyes whiplash to settle back on a profile across the aisle from them.  

Not Logan was a guest at the wedding sitting beside the same girl that had dragged him away the night before.  At least he thought it was the same girl.  She was much more put together than she had been at the beach bar, bleached hair pulled up with smooth rolling curls tumbling around her head and the most precise makeup job Harry had ever seen.  She was beautiful and it was only fitting that Not Logan - _Louis_ \- was with someone in the same category of attractiveness.  She belonged in the middle of a professional makeup ad and he belonged on the cover of GQ.  He envied both of them, really.  Harry knew he wasn’t unattractive, he had a sense of self appreciation that was probably borderline vain on his best days, but there was just something about Louis that raised the bar and he couldn’t tear his eyes away.  

He had shaved since last night, smooth face highlighting his jawline and making his cheekbones seem more defined.  His hair was swept up into a slicked back quiff that, along with his sunglasses and tailored suit, made him look rich and powerful in a way that had Harry’s dick stirring in his light weight trousers.  He shifted his hands in his lap and crossed his legs to block any reaction for being detected but couldn’t tear his eyes away.  

Louis’ suit was blue with a bit of shine and even in his seat Harry could tell that his ass looked spectacular in it.  The girl with him whispered something to make him laugh, head thrown back and smile spreading across his face.  Harry wanted to attack his exposed neck and worship laugh lines he could see peeking out from the side of his sunglasses.  He was the whole package.  Harry licked his lips and imagined dragging them up the smooth skin to his jaw, worshipping every sharp corner and soft contour.  

“Harry, what’s your problem?  Are you on something?”

His name snapped him out of his trance to look at the source.  

“Huh?  Oh, just tired I guess.  Jetlag,” his words stumbled out while he stared back at Josh’s annoyed expression.  

Josh opened his mouth but his words died before they were formed when the music began and the small wedding party began their march down the aisle.  There was a “we’ll talk about this later” look in Josh’s eyes before he turned his attention to the ceremony and Harry could only hope his real distraction hadn’t been discovered.  But then again he wasn’t with Josh anymore, he had no right to be upset about him window shopping some gourmet eye candy.  He wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Please stand,” the officiant instructed for the entrance of the bride and Harry popped up with the rest of the guests to turn.  

He was sure the bride probably looked lovely but he wouldn’t be able to confirm that.  Instead he was focused on Louis on the other side of the white runner, confirming his suspicions that those suit pants looked amazing on his figure.  With all eyes on the bride, he let himself have a good long look.  He started at the shiny dress shoes and cataloged each accentuated curve up to his face that quirked into a smirk as soon as his eyes landed there.  

Fuck.  He’d been caught and the raise of one curved eyebrow from behind his sunglasses confirmed his fears.  Cursing himself for forgetting to grab the sunglasses that could have been his saving grace, he could feel himself turning bright red but couldn’t look away.  He followed the tongue that suggestively slid over those lovely angel pink lips as if his girlfriend wasn’t right at his side.  

And technically Harry’s boyfriend, at least to everyone around them, was at his side as well.  He couldn’t make this obvious.

“You may be seated,” the voice broke the string between them, sitting down so hard that the white wooden chair groaned and squeaked beneath him and sank further into the sand.  

He kept his head forward for the rest of the ceremony, tuning in to the magical celebration of love that a marriage was.  By the end, he was dabbing at the corners of his eyes.  He couldn’t help it, weddings always made him a bit emotional.  He was in love with love and couldn’t deny that he was a romantic sap, he wouldn’t even try to argue it.  Ironically despite it being the reason they were currently brought together, this exact display of affection and commitment was one of the reasons it hadn’t worked out with Josh in the first place.  

He glanced over and caught a glimpse of Louis discretely dabbing the corner of his eyes as well and it sent a small flutter through Harry’s stomach.  Josh on the other hand appeared restless and bored beside him and it felt like just another incompatibility between them.  He wanted to be with someone who not only wasn’t ashamed of their emotions but that was also moved by the same things that moved him.  The indifference of his former partner made him just a little sad for all the times he thought they had been on the same level.  

 

-

 

By the time they were halfway through dinner, Harry was ready to be home.  They had barely made it to the main course when Josh’s hand landed on Harry’s thigh under the table and kept returning no matter how many times he forcibly removed it.  It was one thing to pretend that they were still dating and another to be groped under the table out of sight.  He would give up his time spent on the beach to be back in his cozy flat spending the night in if it meant avoiding all the uncomfortable advances he was having to deflect.  

They were both partaking in the unlimited supply of complimentary wine and the mood should have been light and fun.  Instead Harry was exasperated and irritated with Josh’s continuously inappropriate advances that just kept happening no matter how many times Harry tried to deter them.  

Harry was taking the last bite of his dessert when he felt it, almost choking on the spoon at the unexpected contact.  Josh’s hand had slid up his inner thigh, pinky finger grazing over his dick through the thin linen trousers.  The spoon clanked loudly to his plate as he dropped it, coughing to clear his throat while scrambling to push the wandering hand away.  There had been many times when that simple act would have had him hard in seconds but he found himself the least attracted to Josh in that moment than he ever had since they had met.  

“For the last time no!” Harry said a little too loud, blushing when every head at their end of the long table all turned to look at the commotion.  He lowered his voice to an angry hiss, “I thought I made myself clear that nothing was going to be happening this weekend.  We aren’t together, this trip wasn’t a reconciliation, there were no blurred lines when I agreed to come.  So tell your family the truth or make up some excuse because I can’t be around you right now.”  

With that Harry removed the cloth napkin from his lap and placed it on top of his empty plate coolly.  He slid his chair back and with a few polite smiles to the guests around them, turned and left the private patio where the dinner was being held.  

He was almost back at the door to his suite before he stopped short.  No.  He paid for this vacation and he wasn’t going to spend it stewing angrily in his room over the actions of someone he had once thought he loved, someone who was shattering every ounce of trust they had ever built between each other.  The sun was just setting, the reflection off the water something out of a tourist pamphlet, and he was going to enjoy it.  

Sand was already uncomfortably wedged between his feet and the leather of his fancy dress sandals so he yanked them off and left them on the small patio to his suite and headed off to the beach bar with the sand that still held the day’s warmth squishing between his toes.  

It was probably a mistake but he ordered another fancy fruity drink without thinking twice.  There was a young man with a guitar singing gentle acoustic covers on a small stage off to the side and he figured he could at least enjoy the atmosphere for a while before turning in for the night.  He was about to find himself a table with his beverage when he noticed someone sitting alone towards the end of the bar.  Despite him being at the ceremony earlier, he was surprised to find it was Louis sitting by himself, not at the wedding dinner where he had expected him to be.  He hadn’t noticed his absence.   

“Free wine not doing it for you?” Harry asked as he plopped himself onto the stool beside him, plucking a cherry off the skewer in his drink and popping it into his mouth.  Louis let out a small snort and shook his head, swirling the amber liquid in his glass around while he watched the small waves.  

“Wasn’t invited actually,” he shrugged a little, glancing over.  His quiff had fallen in the humidity and he had changed from his suit into a pair of gym shorts and a plain white tshirt, a stark contrast to the business executive vibe he had been giving off earlier in the day but no less attractive.  He looked snuggly and soft instead, surprisingly able to pull off both looks flawlessly.    

“So you just crash wedding ceremonies then but not the receptions?  Seems a little backwards if you ask me.”

Louis snorted out a small laugh, shaking his head as he looked back down into his drink.  

“My sister didn’t want to travel alone and I just wanted a vacation,” he shrugged one shoulder, “I wasn’t actually invited to the wedding so I figured it would be rude to just show up to the dinner and expect a free meal and free booze.  Just went this afternoon so Lottie wouldn’t have to sit alone.”

“Sister.  So not your girlfriend?” Harry asked, shoving his straw into his mouth since his brain to speech filter was apparently broken.  He usually wasn’t that blunt.  

“Definitely not,” Louis scoffed, “Even if she wasn’t my sister, definitely not my type.”

Harry smirked to himself, he knew what that meant.  He was well versed in the ways of gay subtlety and saw the twitch of his smile that confirmed it.  

“Definitely not my type either,” Harry giggled into his drink, pleasant buzz from the wine warming his body now that Josh wasn’t around to spoil it.  

“I figured so with your boyfriend bragging about you last night.”  

“Not my boyfriend,” Harry frowned, sucking down the rest of his drink with a few long purposeful sips at his straw, “We broke up.”  

“Oooh dramatic,” Louis grinned in delight at some gossip, leaning his cheek onto his hand, elbow resting against the bar to look at him with interest, “A break up at a wedding.  Seems like part of the plot of some sappy rom com.  Is that why you’re out here then and not back at the celebration of domestic bliss?”

“Noooo, no.  We broke up months ago, not tonight.  I had already paid for the trip and yeah, needed a vacation too.”

“So is Logan the new boyfriend then…?” he quirked an eyebrow, smirking.  Harry’s cheeks grew warm and he knew it wasn’t just from the alcohol.  He was really hoping they could just forget about their awkward encounter the night before or that perhaps Louis hadn’t even remembered it at all.  

“No, not a new boyfriend.  Just an old crush.  I’m sorry about that last night… I just got a bit tipsy and honestly you really do look strikingly similar.  I thought he had shown up here in some strange coincidence.  I haven’t seen him for years.”  

“Ah, and you were hoping to hook up again.  I get it.”

“NO!” Harry exclaimed, blushing as he cleared his throat and started again, “No, we never hooked up or anything.  We were just kids back then.”  

“But you wanted to, am I right?” Louis was still smirking at him and Harry wished the floor would open and swallow him up to save him from this embarrassing conversation.  Why hadn’t he just told the truth?  He could have easily said his cousin or even an old friend.  There hadn’t been a need to out himself so easily like that.  

“I’m just giving you a hard time,” Louis laughed beside him, obviously sensing his shame, “Let me buy you another one of those fancy cocktails and you can keep me company for a while, okay?”

They fall into easy small talk and alternate ordering each other a couple more rounds that all end up on the same tab in the end anyway, essentially Josh’s.  Harry giggled as he told Louis this, their shoulders bumping with how close they had migrated to each other through their conversation.  

“You’re a terrible person,” Louis laughed against the rim of his glass, shaking his head.  

“He grabbed my dick under the table!  Charging a few drinks to him is hardly consolation for the emotional distress I had to endure.”  Harry snorted and wrinkled his nose to stifle his laughter, glancing over at Louis when he was unable to contain his giggles.

“Some sneaky public fondling isn’t your thing then?” Louis asked with a smirk.  

“Not when it’s my ex-boyfriend and I explished… expished… exPLICitly told him no sex this weekend,” Harry giggled at his inability to speak, leaning into Louis’ side in the process.  He was quickly approaching sloppy drunk.  He needed to cut himself off.  

“No sex this weekend, huh?” Louis leaned his own shoulder right back against Harry’s, almost holding each other up.  

“Not with him at least,” Harry replied before blushing and hiding his face in his arm resting across the bar.  He peeked out, cheeks growing red at the suggestively raised eyebrow greeting him on Louis’ face.  

“Yeah?” Louis propositioned subtly.  Harry sat up in attention, body angling to evaluate the seriousness of the question.  

“You and me?” he gestured between them unnecessarily, fingers accidentally brushing Louis’ chest with a small spark of excitement that served to sober him up just a bit.  

“No, you and the bartender.  He’s been eying you up all night.”  

“What, really?” Harry almost gave himself whiplash snapping his attention to the bartender on the opposite end of the counter who was currently flirting with one of the waitresses.  

“No you idiot,” he turned back to see Louis shaking his head before downing the last of his drink.  “If you were really that into this Logan character, let’s give it a go?  Live out your fantasies and I get some vacation sex.  Win win.”

Harry’s mouth went dry as he started at Louis.  Back in the forefront of his mind, all he could see was Logan staring back at him and all the uncomfortable public boners and embarrassing fantasies that had plagued his teenage years.  This would be as close as he would ever come to living them out, the closest he would ever come to it being okay.  His conscience was all over that idea in a heartbeat.    

“Yes.”  It was a simple answer but laced with so much intent that it felt heavy on his tongue, head nodding in certainty.  

“You wanna get out of here?” Louis asked, hitching a thumb behind himself in no particular direction.  Harry nodded like an eager ragdoll, stumbling to stand from his stool in his haste to leave together.  

“Woah there,” Louis reached out to steady him with warm hands on his biceps, grip surprisingly strong and firm.  Dirty ideas flooded Harry’s head with the strength and he couldn’t help but moisten his lips, eyes trailing over Louis’ face hungrily.  He found that his hands had gripped onto Louis’ hips in the exchange and took the time to fully appreciate the meat there that fit perfectly in his hold.  He squeezed slightly just to enjoy the substance.  He wanted to bend him over the bar right now and leave finger shaped bruises in those exact spots.  

“Not to kill the mood but my sister might interrupt us if we head back to my room.  Is your not-boyfriend expected back anytime soon?” Louis asked, voice taking on a raspier quality, looking back at Harry with just as much want veiling his expressions.  

“Have my own room,” he breathed in reply, body drawing closer to Louis’ in a natural pull, lips just an inch apart.  

“Lead the way.”  

They stumbled over each other as they untangle themselves from the bar stools, giggling each time they knock body parts or leave a chair wobbling in their wake.  It was sloppy and uncoordinated but also a perfect transition from their time at the bar.  

They barely made it off the patio before Harry had Louis pressed against the cool metal fence surrounding the outdoor pool.  He pressed their lips together in a heated kiss, hands roaming everywhere and nowhere all at once.  

“Not out here,” Louis panted, gently pressing his palms against Harry’s chest to put some space between them.  

“Fuck,” Harry cursed, hand pressing against his erection for a moment that had nowhere to hide in his thin trousers.  He wasn’t sure if public indecency was a thing on a private island but he was sure that showing off the obvious tent in his pants would probably fall into that category.  

“Okay, come on,” he took Louis by the hand and pulled him down the beach to his patio.  He fumbled to pull out the key card that would unlock the sliding glass doors, nearly dropping it completely when Louis plastered his body against his back, erection clearly felt pressing against his ass.  

He finally found enough coordination to operate the door, sliding it open and yanking Louis inside with him.  The air conditioning was cold against their skin that was warmed by both the temperature outside and the alcohol they had consumed but Harry was already beginning to work up a sweat with his arousal.  He boxed Louis up against the wall, picking up their sloppy kiss where they had left off not long before.  

Louis moaned when Harry’s hands slid down to grasp a double handful of his cheeks, squeezing the globes the way he had always imagined he would with Logan’s when they were finally alone.  

“Fuck, do you even know how many times I got myself off to this ass?” Harry moaned into his lips without thinking, squeezing again to accent his admission.  

“We’re that similar, huh?  Even down to the ass?” Louis’ voice was playful so Harry decided he was done with being embarrassed over this.  

“You have no idea… This ass was the first thing I saw when I got to this island and I’ve been half hard over it ever since.”  He nearly growled and made his way down Louis’ neck, sucking and biting at his skin, hopefully leaving his mark so Louis would remember this just as much as he was sure he would.  

“Good to know I’ve got an ass double out there if I ever need one for my nude scenes,” Louis started to let out a laugh but it cut off in a moan when Harry gets a thigh between his legs, hiking it up to press against Louis’ erection.  They grind together to the sound of their own muttered curses until they both reach their boiling point.  

“Was your fantasy really to dry hump without even getting your cock out?” Louis taunted, challenging him with a look that had Harry hot for it.  

“Fuck no,” Harry slid his hands down the back of Louis’ shorts, getting a real grip before trailing his fingers inward to trace along his exposed crack.  “So many things I want to do instead of that.”  

He pulled back just enough to spin Louis around, plastering himself against his back to walk them the few steps to the small loveseat in his suite.  He bent Louis over it with his own body following the movement, grinding his cock until the hard line of it wedged itself in the crease of Louis’ cheeks.  His hot breath came out heavily near Louis’ ear as he rotated his hips against him, nipping at his ear while he worked himself up even more.  

“So. Many. Things. I want to do to this ass,” he punctuated his words with small thrusts, sliding away sink down to his knees on the carpet between his spread feet.  He yanked Louis’ athletic shorts down to his knees in one go, biting at the juncture between thigh and cheek as soon as it’s exposed.  

Louis let out a small yelp of surprise but didn’t pull away, instead pushing his hips back towards Harry’s face in encouragement.   They were really too close to the edge for any torture, mood having been set for a quick hard fuck but Harry couldn’t stop himself from indulging.  He trailed a finger lightly down his crack, ghosting light pressure against his hole before bypassing it completely for the silky underside of his balls.  He stroked the back of his knuckle there, relishing in the velvet feel before following it with his lips.  

He could feel the goosebumps that had risen on Louis’ thighs, feeding off the small whimpers he had started to make under the gentle attention.  Harry sucked and licked at his balls, enough to feel good but nowhere near where the true attention was wanted.  He took his time traveling upwards, nipping with his teeth every once in a while until his tongue finally poked out to circle his rim, thumbs spreading him further apart for access.  

“Tastes salty like the ocean,” Harry muttered against his hole, his nose nuzzling against his skin before going in for the attack.  His lips, wet and warm, moved in for the real job, the teasing pace lost as quickly as it had started.  He pointed his tongue, angling to work him open in a way that had Louis’ thighs shaking as he struggled to hold himself up.  

“Better than I imagined,” Harry paused to murmur the praise against his skin before diving back in.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” Louis’ voice breathily warned not long after, trying to fit a hand between himself and the back of the loveseat to get to his cock.

“No, not yet,” Harry reached up to circle his fingers around the base of his cock, pressing his thumb tightly across the underside.  Louis whimpered and dropped his head forward, body nearly going completely limp against the couch from being suddenly knocked off the peak of his impending orgasm.  

Harry placed a kiss against his hole while he slowly release the vice around the base of Louis’ dick, kissing a line up the curve of his spine until he was close enough to whisper into his ear.  

“Want to fuck you first,” he mumbled filthily, giving his ass another squeeze, “Don’t move.”  

He quickly moved to rummage through his suitcase, easily finding the lube he had packed for himself before it dawned on him.  He hadn’t packed any condoms.  With sex off the table with Josh for the trip, he hadn’t even fathomed the idea of casual sex while pretending to still be in a relationship in front of everyone.  It hadn’t crossed his mind.  

Frantically he started to unzip every hidden pocket of his suitcase, running his fingers through the inside of every pouch and flap.  He flipped the suitcase closed, unzipping the small pocket on the front of his luggage.  He pulled out a heavily creased receipt, a peppermint nearly crushed to sugar dust and… ah ha!  The battered wrapper of a condom, corners rolled and worn down with age.  He pressed down in the center of the ring and found that he could still feel the cushion of air to indicate that the packet had at least not been punctured.  He raised it close to his face, squinting as he tried to make out the expiration date that had nearly completely rubbed off.  

He glanced up to where Louis was still bent over the loveseat, perfect ass on full display just waiting for him like every one of his pubescent fantasy wanks.  Fuck it.  It was probably fine.  

Setting the lube and condom on the corner of the bed, he took a moment to fully appreciate the sight in front of him while he struggled to rid himself of his clothes.  Thoroughly distracted, he stumbled a few times with his pants around his ankles before he was finally able to kick them off.  He scooped up the lube and condom, hand finally squeezing his own cock to relieve some of the building pressure.  He was already not going to last long after finally getting his hands on the body of his dreams.  

He rolled the bottle of lube between his hands with the illusion of warming it up some but knew it would take more than that in reality.  Instead he drizzled some onto his fingers, stepping up behind Louis again to spread the lubricant over his hole.  The surprising sudden shock of cold made Louis flinch away from him briefly, pushing right back against it a second later.  

Louis was very vocal, moaning and whimpering while Harry slowly slid one long finger into him at a torturously slow pace.  He paused for Louis to adjust before speeding up the process, working him open efficiently without any extra finesse that neither of them would be able to handle at the moment.  

“I’m ready, I’m ready,” Louis panted, twisting his head to look up at him with blown pupils and ruddy cheeks.  He already looked blissfully fucked out and Harry hadn’t even made it to the main act yet.  

Harry wiped the extra lube onto his own thigh, carefully tearing open the condom packet and pulling it out.  He gave it another visual inspection and shrugged, deeming it in an adequate condition for the job.  He rolled it down his erection, moaning at the contact after leaving himself so neglected.  Lubed up and a few strokes later, he placed a hand low on Louis’ back, grounding them both while he stepped up to bat.  With a few non verbal cues he adjusted the height of Louis’ hips, rubbing the head teasingly against him while he admired the view.  

He thought his fantasies might have been too unrealistic but with his senses filled with the actual experience, he realized his fantasies hadn’t even come close.  His hand gripped himself while he pushed against the resistance of the ring of muscle, the slide murderously slow as he set out to remember every sensation and visual of the experience.  The muscles in Louis’ thighs were twitching with the urge to push back against him, holding himself back with the same pleasure from pain self torture Harry was subjecting himself to as well.  

When his hips were finally pressed flush against his ass he paused to give them both a minute.  He could feel Louis’ hole still fluttering against him and had bottomed enough times to know he was still trying to relax into it.  It didn’t take long before he was pushing his hips back, though, small experimental thrusts that pushed a groan from deep within Harry’s chest.  

“You can go,” Louis gave him the okay and he didn’t hesitate before pulling nearly all the way out and slamming right back in.  They both let out noises of shock and pleasure, their own heavy breathing the only other sound in the room.  Harry slid his hands down the curve of Louis’ waist, finding the sweet meaty spot on his hip to hold onto before he found a pace that had them both grunting with each thrust.  

“Fuckkk Log--ouis,” Harry moaned out, barely catching himself from moaning out his cousin’s name, unable to dwell on it when Louis let out a particularly loud shout.  

“Right there, right there,” Louis began to chant, pushing his hips back to meet Harry’s in a pace that was borderline frantic.  Louis managed to wedge his hand down to jerk himself, skin on skin echoing against the walls while they both chased their release.  Harry was nearly drawing blood from his bottom lip, clenching it to stave off his own orgasm until he could get Louis there at the very least the same time.  He wasn’t sure he was going to make it.  

“Oh fuck, Louis, I’m - I’m coming,” he shuddered out, his nerves perking like wobbly jelly when it felt like he literally exploded into the condom.  Louis cried out a moment later, warm jizz hitting Harry’s bare toes below them while he rode out his orgasm with small shallow thrusts.  It felt as if he may have gone blind with the intensity of it.  He leaned forward against Louis with a dizzying sway and oh yeah, still drunk.  He steadied himself with one hand against the back of the couch, pulling out while holding the base of the condom before sliding down to plop onto the floor.  

“Holy fuck.” His brain felt like the commercial of the eggs being cracked into a frying pan.  His brain on drugs or his brain on Louis more accurately.  Or maybe Logan.  Or both.  He didn’t know.  He dragged his hand over his sweaty face, belatedly realizing it was still covered in lube.  His face morphed into one of brief disgust but he really couldn’t find the energy to actually care.

Louis joined him on the carpet a moment later, starfishing out in assumingly the same blissed out haze Harry was swimming in.  

“Fucking hell you broke me,” Louis croaked out, voice sounding raw and weak.

“That was so fucking good,” Harry agreed, feeling weak in overexertion.  

Eventually they both crawled their way to the bed, tucking themselves in when the sweat on their skin cooled to chill them in the air conditioned air.  

“Can I stay here tonight?  I’m not motivated enough to move.”

Harry nodded and gave more confirmation when he turned and wrapped his arms around Louis’ middle, snuggling in close.  

“Sorry, I snore,” Harry murmured into the darkness, both slowly slipping off into a well deserved sleep.  

 

**Sunday**

 

“Shit!” Harry startled awake to the loud exclamation, bed shaking beneath him like an earthquake.  

“Sorry, sorry,” the same voice said quickly after, sounding slightly calmer than before.  Harry rubbed at his eyes and looked around in confusion, not knowing where he was waking up for a few moments while emerging from sleep.  

“What’s going on?” Harry croaked out, voice rough from disuse and mouth dry as cotton.  He pushed himself up to sit and it took him a moment run through why he was being awoken not only this way but by another person.  

Oh, right.

He couldn’t help the small smirk that stretched his lips as he remembered, Louis currently sifting through their clothing still scattered over the floor.  

“Leaving?” he asked through a wide yawn, “Usually sneaking out in the morning is supposed to be a little quieter.”  His tone was joking but also leaving room for Louis to confirm that was what was happening.  He’d rather hear it straight.

“No, sorry, that’s not… not like that anyway.  I forgot to set an alarm and I need to leave for our flight home in, like, less than a half hour.”

“Oh, okay,” Harry couldn’t help but sound disappointed.  He had been hoping for some morning fun that didn’t include a drunken haze around the edges.  

Louis paused and walked over to the side of the bed in only boxers and his tshirt that was pulled on backwards and inside out.  Harry reached out to grab the tag of the shirt between his fingers that were resting framed by his collarbones, pulling it playfully before Louis laughed, shrugged and wiggled inside the shirt to slip his arms back in the right way.  

“Hey I know last night was just for fun but… if you’re interested… I’d really like to see you again.  Would that be okay?” Louis asked him, an adorable hesitance to his question.  Harry couldn’t help the smile that stretched over his face, popping his dimples and meeting his eyes.  

“I think I would really like that,” Harry nodded, reaching out to gently interlock their fingers for a moment, “And not just because of the whole… crush thing.  That wasn’t really… completely why I wanted to hook up last night.  I’d really like to go out with you, with Louis.”  

A matching smile appeared on Louis’ face, the same laugh lines he had seen appear at the wedding creasing around his eyes happily.  He squeezed Harry’s hand back, letting them have a small moment before releasing it altogether.  He turned to the nightstand and used the hotel pen to scribble his number and email address across the notepad stamped with a fancy resort logo across the top.  

“I really do have to run but… call me?” Louis asked hopefully while he gathered his shorts up off the floor, pulling them on as he headed towards the sliding glass door.  

They shared another smile and Harry felt the same bubbling in his stomach that he had felt the day before but not for the same lust filled reasons.  This time it was the excitement of starting something new.  

“I can’t wait.”  Louis gave a small wave, lingering at the door for just another moment before slipping out onto the beach.  Harry flopped back onto the bed, grinning up towards the ceiling, giddy and more sated than he had felt in years.  It was then when he realized he had changed his mind.  The trip had been an amazing idea.  

**Author's Note:**

> [Here's a tumblr post if you liked!](http://jaerie.tumblr.com/post/168904981657/closest-itll-get-author-jaerie-word-count)


End file.
